One of the reasons I got married was so I wouldn’t have to work so hard to get a date. I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s the hand-on-the-bible, hail Mary full of grace, God’s honest truth. Not because my lovely wife ever has second thoughts about going out with me (God, I hope she doesn’t have to think twice), but now that I’m married it’s virtually impossible for me to get a date… with my own wife. Reason being, babysitters in our area are a very rare commodity. As rare as the elusive white lion, albino Humpback Whale or intelligent comments from Donald Trump. I’ve actually found more four leaf clovers on our lawn than babysitters in our neighbourhood. And you’d think with so many four leaf clovers I’d have some luck finding a damn babysitter. Nope. Now that the few we used to have have grown into early adulthood and found jobs that pay higher than the going babysitter rate, there’s slim pickings in the field of hourly childcare. But on this particular night, we’re in luck! My niece was available on super short notice. And just as we’re about to step out the door… it arrives!! Continue reading The 47 Year-Old Nerd -or- My Big Fat Geek Wedding
KD MACK’S JOURNAL: VACATION – DAY 1:
So far none of the other people in the neighbourhood have noticed I’m on vacation. I think I’ll keep it this way because it’s low profile and I’ve always wanted to use the term, “I’m keeping a low profile”.
Went running this morning. Tried to beat my 5km time record. I almost succeeded but I got a call from a company in Florida telling me a won a cruise and they’d just need my credit card number to cover the taxes. Seemed legit so I stopped and took the call.
After a bit, I had a late morning nap and dreamed I was the physical embodiment of Kim Kardashian’s over-inflated sense of self worth. I can’t describe what that looked like. Sort of a taco with an unripened banana running through the middle. Continue reading MacRae Summer Vacation (2016) -or- I Know What You Did Last Summer!
Just a big ol’ FYI. I think I fixed my old art gallery. You’ll find oodles of doodles and samples of my artwork. And before you ask, even though there is a commissioned artwork section in my gallery, I don’t do commissions anymore. So, even if you say, “please” I’ll still say “no.” But I’ll let you down easy. My art is just my way of decompressing after the daily grind.
You’ll see “KD Mack’s Art” in the above menu. Yeah, that’s the one!
I’ve done some questionable things in my life. OK, some of them were downright awful. But I’ve moved forward and accepted the fact that there will be a special place in Hell waiting for me. The wait ended May 1st, 2016.
It was a crisp and clear spring morning. My wife and I took the kids up to Wasaga Beach to the spend the weekend with my In-Laws for the weekend. I vividly recall my wife telling me she was going out for a bit. Of course I figured she was off to do some early garage saling until I saw something that sent a 50,000 volts of electricity down my spine. She had a dog carrier in her left hand. Not just any dog carrier. It was a small dog carrier! Continue reading Me vs. The Chihuahua -or- There Are Strange Things Afoot At The Taco Bell
Today marks my 47th year on this earth. On October1st, 1969 at 4:30 (Atlantic Time) I came into the world at 8 pounds, 14 ounces, 21 inches tall. Yes, 21 inches. My dreams of making the neonatal basketball team were dashed that day by 3 inches. Regardless, here I am, a lot taller, a lot heavier and with a helluva lot more life experience.
It was a low key celebration today, as most of my birthdays are. I guess you reach a certain age and birthdays lose a bit of luster. It just becomes jumbled in with the other 364 days of the year. If it weren’t for Mark Zuckerberg, most of you wouldn’t even know it was my birthday. Still, I thank you for all the well wishes on my Facebook page. But aren’t we a bit arrogant in celebrating our births anyway? I mean, it’s not like we did anything. That credit rightfully goes to our mothers. They’re the ones that did all the work. We just slid out and expected to be waited on. Continue reading Happy Birthday To Me -or- I’m Smarter Than An Infant